Is it strange that I am happier than I have ever been in my life?
It's been a hard year...a really really hard year, the hardest year in terms of what I've lost...but I'm moving forward...
School, honestly, couldn't be going better. I had a chem exam that I was pretty stressed out about last week...I actually ended up with a 100%. Craziness. I never really anticipated being very good at chemistry, but I kinda love it...kinda blows my mind (a very good lesson in not underestimating yourself, you can do whatever you want with a little hard work!). It definitely made a good end to the week and has definitely allowed me to enjoy my spring break all the much more...
I've been working all week and I've enjoyed every moment. I've never had a job that I jump out of bed every morning, excited to get to, but my boss is amazing, my co-workers are awesome, and the patients and clients teach me something new every single day. It makes me so incredibly happy and so excited for the future.
Yesterday, was a crazy surgery day and then I finished the day out by driving down to the farm and helping Dr. J with the rehab on one of her horses. So yes, there's some horses in my life again! I spent several hours on Sunday at the farm helping out and grooming some of her guys and it was truly good for my soul. I have never regretted the decisions I made, but that doesn't mean there isn't a pang of sadness for what once was...
The experiences I've had thanks to that incredible veterinarian are worth more than words. It's such a gift to have someone in my life who gets this dream and gets me and wants to see me succeed. I love my family dearly, but their understanding of my dreams is so rudimentary. It's freeing to be seen as some one other than just the crazy girl who loves animals. It's good to be this happy.
After work on Monday, I was parked at the gas station and a truck pulls up next to me. "Hey kid!" I turned around and J was right there! He went and parked and then we talked for awhile. I haven't seen him since the end of December...it's just too sad to go up to the barn...even though I've had a lot of people try to get me too. But anyway, J asked what I was doing home and I told him I was on spring break.
"Have you given up the vet school thing, yet?" He asked.
I told him that I hadn't and that I knew that this was exactly what I was supposed to be doing.
"So, I guess your going to be poor like the rest of us...you really should rethink medical school." He joked.
I just smiled and said "Well, the way I think about it, do you think most physicians become physicians because they love people?"
"Well, no, probably not."
"But veterinarians...how many veterinarians do you think become veterinarians because they love animals?"
"Well, probably all of them."
"Exactly," I said. "The difference is the same as that which is between night and day. I don't have to be rich to be happy, but I do have to do something that I can put my heart and soul into. Above all else, that it what is important to me in life."
"You know, I think you're going to far, kid," he added.
"I really hope you're right."